Thursday, April 23, 2009

"Peace, Love & Hoppiness."

Sometimes, I get it so wrong. Sometimes, I get so down on myself. Some Thursdays, I go to the CSA to pick up my food, come home, spread the produce out and review it like precious wares, and then want to go to the corner and cry because I've no idea what to do with any of it. This seems crazy to say, but sometimes, I don't feel worthy of this food. I feel unprepared and unfit to own it, cook it, work with it. It's so perfect it continually reminds me I'm not perfect at all.

Sometimes, I heat olive oil in the pan and just stare at it without a clue.

I get tired and fussy. I don't have mint. My rosemary is molding. The bread won't rise. Neko Case isn't getting me through cooking dinner and I'm scared of the lamb liver I'm trying to prepare. Now what.

To be honest, I don't know. It seems it would be so much easier to trot over to a restaurant. I'm tired. I have these beautiful vegetables I need to cook with less than a solid cooking background. Now what.

I don't know. The road is long, my friends, and I'm exhausted. I am also worthy of ridicule and a good spanking at this point, but... sigh.

I just looked over at my bottle of Terrapin. It says "Peace, Love and Hoppiness," and that made me laugh. I guess sometimes you have to toss some garlic and onion in the pan of olive oil and see where it takes you.


Kevin Park said...

You're a GREAT wordsmith. Go to LinkedIn (a professional networking website). It basically is the facebook for people who want to use the power of "it's all about who you know" via the internet. You use you're contacts to help others, and your friends use their contacts to help you. It's great. There's space for all you're relevant info that any interested party would want to know. I think you're a great writier - I'm no expert (I was a technical editor for nerdy dissertations), but I've read a lot of people's writing - most of it is painful to read. Alyssa encouraged me to read it (I don't read blogs as a general rule), and I found myself wanting to make time to read more. GGGGGO!

Susan Ledbetter said...

Hey Annie,
I just want you to know that I am so impressed with your blog. It's funny, insightful, and extremely interesting. It makes me glad to say that I knew you way back when you were just a little girl. Well, it wasn't that long ago. You have truly developed into a lovely young woman with a wide variety of interests. Keep writing and I'll keep reading. Mrs. Ledbetter

A.Kelley said...

Thank you, Thank you so much! You guys are so kind to read. I appreciate the kind words and helpful advice, it keeps me going!

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